Talking to your partner about money

Talking about finances with your partner is an essential conversation to have in any relationship because you need to understand the effect their finances will have on yours, and vice versa. However, it can be difficult to start a conversation with your partner about money, especially if you have different financial goals and priorities.

Here are some tips on how to talk to your partner about finances.

When to have the talk about money

If you spend increasing amounts of time together, you’re likely to start spending more money (either individually or collectively) together, and when your partner’s finances start mixing with yours, it will influence your financial health and future, which is why it’s important to start communicating about money early.

Understanding each other’s attitudes and approaches to money can minimise conflicts, misunderstandings, and financial problems later.

How to talk about money

You want to ensure you’re on the same page about money. Remember that you’re a team, and part of working together to achieve your financial goals is to understand each other’s financial values, habits and ambitions. That’s not to say that you need to think the same about finances, but you do need to understand how the other person thinks about it.

How we feel about money is often connected to how we feel about ourselves, and what we believe about it can drive our financial behaviour. Therefore, when you’re approaching the subject, it’s important to be honest, respectful and kind.

It’s important that neither of you feel ambushed or accused, so you need to structure your conversation(s) by:

• setting aside some agreed-upon time,
• addressing specific issues,
• being prepared and knowing what you want to say,  
• listening actively and being open to their perspective and opinions, and  
• having a realistic plan for the way forward that works for both of you.

What not to do

Avoid blaming and shaming your partner for their financial decisions. Similarly, don’t be defensive about yours. Whether there have been good or bad financial decisions or spending habits, neither of you wants to feel judged.

Also, don’t hide financial information from your partner. It won’t help anyone, could cause tension and might make the situation worse. Focus on finding solutions that work for both of you to improve your financial situation.

How to make it work if you disagree

When you and your partner have differing opinions or feelings about money, it’s important to find a middle path that both of you are comfortable with. Consider the following:

• What is the root of the disagreement? Is it different financial values, habits or priorities? Knowing what the underlying issue is can help you find a solution.
• Work on a possible solution together. Both parties need to contribute options that could address the problem. For example, if you disagree about how much to spend on a vacation, consider alternatives such as a shorter trip or a cheaper destination.
• Getting professional help from a financial planner could help mediate different financial styles and facilitate effective money conversations.

_{Disclaimer: This article is solely intended for information. It does not constitute financial, tax or investment advice or recommendation. Please speak to a financial advisor or registered financial professional before making any financial decision(s).}

_{Standard Bank, its subsidiaries or holding company, or any subsidiary of the holding company and all of its subsidiaries make no warranties or representations (implied or otherwise) as to the accuracy, completeness or fitness for purpose of the information provided in this article or that it is free from errors or omissions.}